Sanctuary of St. John's Lutheran Church, Kailua, Hawaii

Floral Arrangement from His Vietnam Brothers

This is not all there is to the human Jay that we all knew, the dynamic fun loving and caring person we called husband, father, and friend.  For the genealogist in the family, Jacob L. LaRue was born in 1943 in Deer Lodge, Tennessee.  He graduated from the University of South Florida, in Tampa, in June 1966.  Entered the U.S. Marine Corps through the Officer Candidate program that year and was certified a Naval Aviator in 1968.  As in any military career, there were lots of moves around the country.  Deployment overseas to include the final evacuation of Saigon on 15 April 1975, with retirement in October 1992.  He was a true hero during Vietnam, earning two Distinguished Flying Crosses for bravery within six months as a lieutenant. He is survived by his sister Charlotte, brother Tony, his loving wife Inmi whom he married on 6 August 1983, and his three loving children Scott, Jennifer and step son Bill.  Yes, these are his life statistics for some future generation to include in a genealogy study, but still do not reflect the exceptional man of God and man of men that we all knew.

I first met Jay while working at Fleet Marine Forces Pacific, at Camp Smith in 1981.  This was a large staff and I did not get to know him very well for he was a project officer in G5 Plans and Programs and I was the G4 Logistics. The one thing I do recall during this time was my staff stating, "If you want to work with a professional and get things done in G5, work with Lieutenant Colonel LaRue, a real pro."

We got to know each other after we somewhat retired and informally formed the "Play at Golf" group.  Jay had his carpentry and home remodeling business going which did give him flex time to open up the Kanehoe Klipper Golf Club at about 0630 in the morning with this nefarious group.  We were Tom Glidden, our old Chief of Staff, Perry Leonard, Dick Armstrong, David Bellatti, Jay and myself were the core group, all Fleet Marine Forces, Pacific former staffers.  I called it the "Play at Golf" group for only Perry, David and Jay could play golf, the rest of us played at golf.  After eighteen holes we would end up having breakfast some place and talk.  Tried to stay away from sex, politics and religion but some discussion always entered this territory.  What was  so interesting with Jay was that he seemed always to want to look at the other side of a discussion, for Marines are a bit opinionated, to see if there was a positive element to what we were discussing.  Not as a pollyanna, but there must be a reason for apparently negative things or happenings.  When we mired down, Jay would calmly state, "Look guys, what great friends we have with each other, a full support group, wonderful families, and we all live in Hawaii.  How much better can it get."  That would put things into a meaningful perspective.

Jay was quite a samaritan, he did as God directed with no fanfare, just helped others as much as he could.  He kept some of his worker staff on payroll when he no job to fully employ them, doing small jobs around his home  for he told me once, "John, if they do not receive this small pay they will have no income."  Even when he and Inmi were going through some financial issues, as we all have experienced, he kept them on the payroll.

Jay's expertise in remodeling was really demonstrated when we decided to have all the bathrooms in our home upgraded.  He came in, evaluated everything, talked with Bobbie, my wife, the most important element in any upgrade, and came in with a cost estimate that did not require a hefty home equity mortgage.  His work was quick, professional, and he was so flexible in resolving problems that occurred.  When the men came in to put down the counter tops they asked who our carpenter was, for the cabinets had been installed so level and straight no shimming was required; they were impressed.  And always his positive enjoyable countenance as the work progressed, and sometimes regressed where my "calm" temper would have taken over, Jay just moved on.

He truly showed his covenant with God after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  He realized that miracles do occur, but that his chance of survival was slim to none.  He did not fall into moods of depression and anger as is so common, but took on a faith that, "Hey I have had a great life and if it meant to be, that is God's will."  Sure easily said, but he meant it.  His positive attitude and actions were not phony to impress somebody they were real.  He was more concerned with anyone he knew that was having problems or issues than himself.  When I had my back operated on in the beginning of November this year, and visited him a couple of days after getting out of the hospital, he chewed me out for taking a health risk to visit him.  He was dying, I was going to mend.  His love for his family, friends and man in general was true and complete as shown by his concerns, actions and quiet ways of doing something special for someone.  He was one of the most unique and great friend that I have ever had or will have.

Well Scott, Jennifer and Bill, these elements of your father I am sure you have known and experienced.  So when you have children in the future and bring them to that niche at the Punchbowl to "visit Grandpa Jay" you may be able to explain some of his true greatness and the positive influence he had while living on earth.  They will ask you, "Why did Grandpa Jay die?" and, "Is he with God in Heaven?"  Children ask the most penetrating questions, and you can answer for sure he is with God in Heaven.  He loved you and respected you all so very much.  His eyes would light up when he would discuss you in any fashion, "Boy do I have some neat kids."  Inmi, his love for you was not measurable, for as we say in our family, "He loved you all past the last number" and is appropriate for you, Scott, Jennifer and Bill.  Take these memories of your husband and your father, hold them, respect them, and reflect on them often, for their is no greater friend you will ever have than Jay.

In closing I will read a poem about a Marine that meets God in Heaven for entry.  It has been around awhile, so if you have heard it before you will hear it again!